not to escape, but to recharge
About 25–27% of Americans annually have taken or considered taking a solo leisure trip, according to travel survey data in 2024. So in a world where so many people travel independently, why is it still common to receive eyebrow raises and inquisitive looks from others when checking in as a party of one? I’m sure most of them think it’s “cool”, but I cannot help but wonder how many of them think it must mean I’m lonely, or that there is no way they could ever do that. How sad for them! Taking myself on vacation has been something I have done several times over the years, and I find my desire to do so growing stronger as I get older (and wiser). Do you like travelling alone?
There was a time following the the death of my first husband in 2019 where I was unwillingly forced into life without my “plus one”, and that was the definition of heartbreaking loneliness. Anywhere that felt centered around couples only seemed to magnify the grief, so I found myself steering clear of those kinds of trips and gatherings. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with the very best daughter, my favorite travel buddy, who loves adventure just as much as I do. Together we’ve created some the most incredible memories, even in those tender years after our loss.
Fast forward 7 years, and I am now incredibly blessed to be married to an amazing man who not only supports my occasional need to travel solo, but actually encourages me to take the time away that I need. He honors that the experience will be much more than a getaway for me, but a chance to engage in soul-searching and introspection. As much as I love being a wife and mom, or being social and connecting with others, I am an empath and sensitive soul to my core. My emotional batteries can get depleted very quickly depending on the energy around me, and it is important that I find time to quietly refuel in places and circumstances that calm my nervous system, allow mental processing, and spark creativity. I am sure many of you reading this can relate.
So two weeks ago, in response to that quiet nudge in my spirit, I booked a spontaneous trip to recharge and exhale on the beaches (and poolside loungers) of Ft. Myers, Florida….and that’s where the spark for this post was born. From the moment I rolled my carry-on into my waterfront room at the inn I could feel the energy shift and the “weights” I was carrying lift from my shoulders. A smile permanently etched itself on my face for the next 4 days as I lost myself in long walks up and down the beachfront, indulged daily in my new favorite chicken and waffle breakfast, and danced barefoot in my room as I carefully chose my outfit for the day. The moments were magnificent, the warmth of the sun nourished my skin and my soul, and the happy tears and gratitude flowed effortlessly.
It just so happened that the week I was on my vacay marked the end of the Wood Snake Year and the start of the Fire Horse year on the Chinese calendar. I have been fascinated to learn more about this transition, as it resonates with my soul so deeply. This past year has been one of complete “shedding” of old layers. Things that do not serve me anymore have been removed, like alcohol, former jobs, identities I was clinging too, and even deep-seated wounds I didn’t know were there. SO much processing has occurred that at times it has felt like I’ve been left open and raw, exposed to even more hurts and vulnerabilities. As a result, with the promise of the horse year ushering in newness and fresh starts, I found myself wrapped up in longing for the completeness of the cycle. This past year has reshaped so much of my life; choosing sobriety and living more intentionally, watching a new identity rise from the ashes of the old, stepping into the unfamiliar season of empty-nest parenting, and building a business that reflects who I’m becoming. These have been massive shifts….and I finally feel ready to settle into them instead of bracing against them. Untethered by past hurts and failures, unashamed to celebrate who I am and the work I have done, and unapologetic about the lofty goals and dreams I have for my life and the impact I will make on others.
Therefore, while on my solo trip I welcomed the transition with a carefree spirit. I went where I pleased, smiled at strangers and struck up conversations in the hotel hot tub. I picked a single barstool in the back corner to eat my breakfast and people watch, and followed Google maps to a local ice cream shop for the biggest sundae I’d ever seen. I even discovered a very nice beach chair that had been tossed aside due to a broken leg and happily made it usable during my trip by breaking the other one (leaving it behind before I left to be found by the next lucky beach-goer who was in need of one)!
Most importantly, I gave myself the quiet space in my mind to work on what I needed to, opening the pathways for God to speak clearly to me in the stillness. Walking on the beach one day I started to giggle as I had the most wonderful memories flood my mind. Memories that also left a residue of pain, so those needed to be worked through, cried through, and gently released. Another day, while strolling the boardwalk, I had a powerful moment reflecting on my role as a mother and how it has changed this past year, albeit in such a beautiful and necessary way. I have cherished each and every moment raising my daughter, teaching her and watching her grow. Even the season of intense grieving together brought us closer and being a present mother was my highest purpose at the time. And now, after helping her launch from the nest and into young adulthood and college life, I can rest in this different sort of nest, and can relish in the beautiful new relationship that we are forming. A relationship where I can still have an active role in her life while watching her spread her wings, but also to spread my own wings in a new sort of way. After much reflection, I realized that I was feeling undeserving of doing that, not giving myself the permission to spread my wings, and therefore causing more unease than was necessary. The shift and inner healing that occurred as I worked through those feelings was worth the trip 100 times over.
The moral of the story? Travelling alone is not lonely if you don’t allow it to be. It can be a chance to ignite and to be inspired. To explore and to energize. To reflect and release.
And on an equally important level, to return home to the loving arms of your family, and be fully present in the life that God has blessed you with.
Book the trip…take the time away. You’ll be glad you did. I’d love to hear stories in the comments of your favorite solo trip you’ve taken, or are planning!
Keep thriving:)
THE THRIVING OPTIMIST 
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